Frustration, and a plan

Today was sort of frustrating day at the NICU.. Natasha's feeding times have been running late because there was another baby with the same feeding time as her yesterday, so she was still sleepy and obviously not hungry when I was trying to feed her this morning. And the nurse was convinced that we were still breastfeeding "recreationally," so she took off for lunch after it was obvious that Natasha wasn't really interested in nursing. Ten minutes later when she woke up though, we had a great nursing session for close to half an hour (hurray!) but there was no one there to see it again. And then I couldn't get anyone to start her gavage feeding until her nurse came back from lunch even though she'd given specific instructions to the cover nurse when she left that he was to start the feeding when we were done nursing.

<--This is what the back of Natasha's head looks like when she falls asleep after nursing. Everything is better when I'm holding her.. but eventually I have to get up.

And every nurse I talk to has a different take on how we should progress with feedings. One thinks Natasha should get a bottle once or twice a day to get her used to eating, and says it will make breastfeeding easier. Most others say that we should wait until Natasha has a handle on breastfeeding before a bottle is introduced, but each has a different approach. I missed the main lactation consultant because I was sick when she was in this week, and she won't be back in till Monday, and the one who met with me because I wanted to talk about a plan told me that the best person to talk to would be our nurse!

So I thought I would take a break and go to the Infant CPR class being held this afternoon, but I was in the bathroom when the instructor left with the students and no one knew where the class was being held! I talked with the people at the NICU desk, and at the desk on the floor where the class was and I walked into every conference room at the hospital (walked right in on the labor and delivery class we're supposed to be in in a few weeks) and finally gave up when it was a quarter of the way through the class time.

When I went back upstairs I found the charge nurse (the head nurse for the shift) to talk to her about Natasha's feeding. She was very nice and talked to me for a little while and we came up with a tentative plan. She'd told me she'd come meet me in Natasha's room so we could look at her charts and progress and discuss it further. She took a little while, but had gone and talked with the doctor first to run the plan by her. Doc thought it was a good plan too and talked to me more about it when they did rounds this afternoon.

Here's the plan: Starting tomorrow we're going to try a couple feedings in a row of just breastfeeding, and if we do a good job they won't give her the extra gavage feeding. If that goes well and her weight keeps up, we'll go for 3 feedings in a row the next day. Sounds pretty simple, and we know how well plans have been working out recently, but at least it gives us a clear path for the next few days.

A couple people thought I was trying to rush them to release Natasha, which isn't the case. I may have mentioned that her roommate for the last few days who was the same gestational age as Natasha and born one day later than her went home yesterday.. but it's more that I want to make sure we're doing everything we can to help her be ready to come home. I don't want to "practice" breastfeed her forever, if she's ready I want to start feeding her.

All the books and all the advice I've gotten have been spot on in this respect. The hospital staff is highly trained and doing everything they can for Natasha, but no one could possibly pay as much attention and care as much as Dan and I. We have to be her advocates and make sure that she gets what she needs, even if we're beginners just learning the ropes.

She had a brady last night, which means she can't come home for at least 5 days, and that's only if she doesn't have another. So we have some time yet to get this feeding thing down.

The magic number for today was 4 lb 13 ozs, and I'm pretty sure she got even cuter.